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April 2007 Archives
Just a test entry before we really get rolling over here....
The Nets clinched a playoff spot this weekend with the win over the Knicks on Friday.
They play in the Garden tonight to try and sneak into that 6th seed and play Toronto.
I'm going to try to come hard with a whole lot of knowledge at some point in the next couple days.
For now, I leave you with a fun stat I caught over the weekend:
Nets starting big man Jason Collins totaled one point in his last seven games and has 26 scoreless nights this season.
Which backs up exactly what I've been saying for SEVERAL YEARS. It's like I'm a genius or something. Which would surprise no one. As I have never done anything stupid or poorly thought out ever.
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From Dave D'Alessandro's latest mailbag:
Dave: Vince at Toronto would be a zoo. He can't possibly want that matchup, could he? Brian G.
Bri: You have no idea. A bunch of guys said yesterday that is precisely what he wants (Antoine: "He's up for it. I don't think there's any doubt about it. He wants it"), and you'll read more about it on the print side tomorrow. The question, of course, is this: How's he going to handle it? He's had two horrid games at the ACC this year (29 points total, on 9-for-32) after owning the joint in his previous visits. So after all the abuse he's taken there, if you're into karmic justice, you kind of hope that he walks into the place, remembers that he built it, and then proceeds to tear it apart. Say this much for him: He's been the best player in the NBA in the last few weeks, and the numbers (32.0 ppg, 7.5 rpg, 6.8 apg) show it.
Vince has played against Toronto 4 times this season. The averages don't really tell the story. 21.5 PPG 7.0 RPG 6.3 APG .437 FG% All pretty much hovering around his averages vs. other teams he plays 3 or 4 times per season. Where is the differential? He seems to have a slightly more difficult time shooting free throws against the Raps. So yes, I think that ACC crowd gets in his head a bit.
My mom swears he "sucks extra" against his former team. But I can think of a couple occasions over the past couple seasons where he brought his extra A+ game and looked out and out pumped to take on Toronto. And isn't that always the question: Which Vince are we gonna get? I don't think I need to explain to anyone how much of a crapshoot this is. And from the looks of it browsing around the old interwebs, Nets fans and overall NBA fans in general are equally frustrated and annoyed by the Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde play of the once Half-Man-Half-Amazing star.
So this is it, Vince. Contract year or not, this is the postseason that defines you. I'm not saying you will be universally adored again. You can do all the charity you want, but people are always going to be turned off by the petulance you displayed at the end of your Raptors tenure. ... Or will they?
I mean...Kobe puts on a show and people barely remember he is an (alleged) rapist! At one point you were the greatest in-game dunker around. All "Wince-ing" aside, some of us still have faith in you. So show us more of this:
And less of what The Admittedly Hackneyed Sports Guy astutely points out could be a class taught by you: "How to Spend Entire Games Pretending to Drive But Settling for 20-foot Jumpers." This angers ALL. Stop it. Seriously, cut it out. I don't need my mom suffering a coronary from screaming at you.
Of course any of the "How will he handle playing against a team whose fanbase once idolized and now despises him?" conjecture is entirely moot if the Nets fall to the 7th seed and end up playing the Bulls or Cavs. Tonight's game (interestingly enough, against those very same Bulls) as well as a bunch of other games on this last night of the season, will determine the postseason fate of our heroic Jersey Boys. Stay tuned. I'm skipping class to watch the drama unfold.
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Now, let me start off by saying that I am not a Golden State Warriors fan nor do I pretend to be one. I am in fact a loyal fan of the New York Knicks and will continue to be until default. However, this is not the time to discuss my distaste for Jared Jeffries (basketball's version of a 0-tool player, in other words Rey Ordonez) or the fact that Mardy Collins has gone from being a carbon copy of Rick Brunson - an easily exciteable towel waving 12th man, limited to garbage time play - into a viable NBA-caliber point guard with upside in a span of a month. I will also choose not to elaborate on how, through consistent interaction with several unflappable and biased Knicks fans at work, I have talked myself into the "Isiah was handed a tough hand by Scott Layden and has made great strides in the past season" camp. I will discuss these things following the draft... that is, unless the Bulls get the 1 or 2 pick in the lottery. At that point, I can be found locked in a dimly lit room blasting "Go NY Go" on repeat while staring at my John Starks "The Dunk" poster all the while reconsidering my life desicions and gently weeping.
Anyway, enough of the Knicks talk because today, April 18, 2007 belongs to the Golden State Warriors and their "win and in" matchup with the Portland Trailblazers. It is well known that the Warriors havent reached the playoffs in 12 seasons (the longest playoff drought of any NBA team) making tonight the biggest game the franchise has played in a long time.
Throughout my time following the NBA, I have held an inexplicable fondness for the Warriors. Run TMC saw the rise of my favorite point guard of the early 90's in Tim Hardaway and Chris Mullin's flat top, which ranks as arguably the stiffest haircut ever worn by a white basketball player with apoligies to Greg Ostertag pseudo flat top-crew cut. The Warriors were also integral for me in the Sega Genesis era. They were my team in all EA sports basketball games from Bulls vs Lakers featuring Tim Hardaway's patented "UTEP 2-Step" special move to NBA Live 95 which saw Chris Mullin's left-handed majesty behind the arc and a young, innocent Spree taking it hard to the tin.
Even after the Warriors sank to the bottom of the NBA ranks, a process that began with the arrival of Syracuse "legend" the immortal Billy Owens and was cemented by the departures of Webber and Nellie, they remained interesting. No team held a more "intense" practice session then the lowly Warriors in the PJ Carlisimo era and when John Starks, my favorite Knick of all-time, was traded naturally he ended up in Golden State.
The arrival of Baron Davis - the man responsible for ruining 4 of my fantasy basketball teams in the last 3 years, but who will be drafted by me next year because of my unconditional love and "feeling" at the start of each year that this will be "his year" - in 2005 and his pairing with Jason Richardson got me back on board with this franchise. Now with Mike Montogomery's blank stare long gone and the cranky Don Nelson back in charge, the team is infinitely fun to watch and a consumate threat to drop or allow 130-140 points on any given night. A mid-season trade sending the blackhole known as Mike Dunleavy Jr. and the pride of the Irish Troy Murphy to Indy yielded two athletic scorers in Al Harrington and Stephen Jackson. Harrington and Jackson are great fits for Nellie's "run and gun system" and helped make the team more explosive and well-rounded. (Insert cheap Stephen Jackson "run and GUN" joke here, because I wont be the one to incite his crazy ass). In addition, Monta Ellis has emerged as a budding superstar and with a healthy J-Rich and Baron, this team has finished the season strong.
So tonight, in Portland, Oregon, the Golden State Warriors can erase 12 forgettable years with a win and give their loyal fans, weird mascot and ornery coach the playoff berth they so desperately desire. May the spirit of Run TMC be with you.
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Aw yeah.
Here. We. Fucking. GO.
I drank too much on an empty stomach to get more involved than that right now. Let's just say the Nets' propensity to blow big leads added to the Kei Igawa experience with some extra innings Philadelphia-style baseball thrown in for good measure equals big headache for Becky.
Suffice to say I'm pumped.
Despite the fact I'm an a-hole and planned a trip out of town this weekend w/out realizing I'd be potentially putting myself in a position to miss the beginnings of what will likely be another epic set of series. High hopes I'll still see what I need to see though.
So as we gear up for the playoffs, here is the song/video that still gets me all fucking fired up, yes, even a year later.
(Seriously, is it weird that I occasionally listen to the song on repeat? Yes? Shoot. I was totally kidding anyway.)
By the way...
Learned tonight:
Ryan Madson = still hot.
(What??? He um...pitched good. Yeah.)
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With the tanking, fabricated injuries and inane referee sub-plots that defined a truly crumby NBA regular season behind us, the playoffs are finally upon us. So as Billy Knight scouts yet another "athletic swingman" while educating himself about the up and coming position known as "point guard" and MJ bides his time before killing Bernie Bickerstaff followed by the Bobcats cap room, future and AM's funky spirit (not necessairily in that order), lets make some predictions!
East
Detroit in 4 - Will Orlando even average 80 points a game in this series? Maybe if Dwight howard can throw down 40 dunks a night...
Cleveland in 4 - With the Agent down, Lebron will have to find a new Wizard to mess with at the free throw line. Enter Deshawn Stevenson!
Toronto in 6 - The only thing Canada hates more than Vince Carter is an athlete with a bad attitude that quit on his team to force a trade for selfish reasons. So either Vince or Gary Sheffield.
Chicago in 6 - After coming close to knocking off the Heat last year, the young Bulls will take this series in 6. Immediately after game 6, Bulls GM John Paxson will place a phone call to Isiah Thomas expressing his gratitude for Zeke's integral role in building the current roster and invite him to be his guest of honor at the NBA draft lottery. They will then discuss the finer points of Isiah's childhood growing up on the southside of Chicago.
West
Houston in 6 - Tmac and Yao will push the Rockets by the Jazz in a well played series, sending Carlos Boozer home to start on his inevitable journey of becoming the next Proactiv solution spokeperson.
Suns in 5 - Lakers are a mess and the Suns should handle them easily, however the Mamba will go off in one game and keep the Lakers from being swept. Meanwhile, Phil Jackson will continue to be stoic on the sidelines and forget that just being stoic and zen-like isnt going to cut it when you only have 1 future hall of famer on your roster and not 2.
Spurs in 6 - Denver will steal 2 games at home but stands little chance of beating Duncan and company in San Antonio. Look for Duncan to be targeted by the refs this series as fall out from the Joey Crawford incident. Too bad Duncan didn't heed Melo's advice about not snitchin'... snitches are bitches Tim, remember that next time my man.
Warriors in 7 - That's right, since I dont think Dallas is coming out of the west im just going to pick them to lose in round 1 for no good reason, other than...
Golden State has won 6 of the last 7 including a sweep of the 3 games this year.
The Baron is healthy and after all I've been through with him he owes me this series.
Most importantly, the only thing bigger than Nellie's waistline is his disdain for Dallas and Mark Cuban. The old grizzly bear will be pulling out all stops in this series which could lead to some phenomenal old school Nellie meltdowns, he is the Lou Pinella of the NBA, I'm pumped.
Ok, lets fast forward to the conference finals and get to the special birthday wish!
Conference FInals
East- Chicago vs Cleveland
West - Phoenix vs Houston
NBA Finals - Phoenix vs Cleveland
2007 NBA Champions - Phoenix Suns
I'd like to wish a happy 46th birthday to Don Mattingly! The fact the Yankees blew a 4 run lead in the 8th inning against Boston on your birthday (with Mo Rivera on the hill no less) speaks volumes about your propensity for losing. Your resume both on the field - one playoff appearance, yanks win world series immediately after your retirement, wade boggs rides horse - and on the bench - arch rival red sox become first team to come back from 3-0 deficit to win a playoff series, wade boggs still a dick - displays a predanatural instinct for losing and I salute you.
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So I went through a short bout of being horrible at life. Sadly, this bout included one kickass playoff preview written at 1 a.m. on the morning I had to wake up at 4:30 a.m. for a 7 a.m. flight. A kickass preview written...and promptly deleted by accident right before publication. I'm not joking. It had everything. Great jokes. Great insight. It rocked. I rocked. And then...*poof!* All gone. I almost cried. I almost threw my computer onto the floor. Then I settled on muttering "FUCK" a bunch of times and going to sleep pissed off.
So. You're not getting my timely "The playoffs are about to start!" preview. Rather, you are getting my "Here's where I'm at a few days in" non-preview. Luckily I did not attempt to make predictions. As I said then, everyone and their strumpet mother makes playoff predictions. (Apologies to my dear Benjamin, and Mama Benjamin.)
The very funny Mitch Hedberg once talked about a trip to the fair, where there was a jar of jellybeans and a "Guess How Many Jellybeans In the Jar" contest. And Mitch said, "I'll tell you what...how about you guess how many I want. If you guessed 'a handful,' then you are right."
In that regard, I decided to just go through each first round series, and say what I wanted to see in each one. And it was glorious. And it was long. And it was gone. Guhhhhh.
Well, guess what? The playoffs started 4 days ago. I was in Florida. I'm back in NY. And I still have wants. I'm insatiable. I'm also incorrigible, but that's neither here nor there. Suffice to say I will be saving this every 2 minutes. And boycotting BlogJet. Because fuck BlogJet, that's why.
In no particular order, here is what I want to see in the first round, adjusted for the "this shit already done gone down some" factor:
Jazz vs. Rockets- Let me go on record as saying I made a Carlos Boozer/Pro-Activ joke as well. But I failed at life as a follow-up, so all props to Ben. I despise Boozer though. I want to see him keep doing well while the Jazz keep losing. In the alternative, I want to see the Jazz win while Boozer plays like poo. I want AK-47 to start playing like a beast again and I want Sloan to stop being such a cock knocker and LET HIM PLAY. I want to see just one playground-style piece of flair from Skip To My Lou. I want the Jazz to lose the series though. Mostly because I bet some random know-it-all Utah fellater at my gym that the Jazz would not make it out of the first round. "Nobody can match up with Utah, nobody." OK, pal. Go lift some weights and shut up. Yeah, you're huge. I'm so impressed. Now go away. I want to see a few more Deke finger wags because it never gets old. I had written some on how I wanted to see TMac just tear things up and own the floor, but that's pretty moot now since...well, since that what he's doing. And I wanted to see Yao be Yao. But now apparently TMac is asking for the same thing. He gets what he wants before I get what I want. That's fair. He's like...the MACK. Anyway. I want the Rockets.
Spurs vs. Nuggets- I want Tim Duncan to let his alleged "zazy" personality shine through. I want Evan Longoria to go away. I want Tony Parker to "bounce toi" in my bedroom. I want Melo and AI to each go for 50 in a game. I want Melo to hit those sweet sweet buzzer beaters. I want AI to play with the firey passion and reckless abandon that we haven't seen from him since before the Sixers front office tried to swallow his soul. I want Manu to just go the F away. Seriously, he flops like a damned Italian soccer player. With a silly bald spot. I want K-Mart to come back and law some smack. (I never said what I wanted was realistic, thank you very much.) I want the Trivia Answer Robert Horry to please disappear and leave us alone. I want the stupid camera crew to STOP showing us close-ups of Popovich. Seriously, yeesh. I want Denver.
Suns vs. Lakers- I knew the Lakers did not have a prayer in a 7 game series against these Suns. What did I wish for? Well, I wished for Barbosa to have one huge game and smile that happy LB smile of his. And I got that immediately in Game 1. So there's that. I want to see Nash get NASTY. I want Marion to put up 20/20. Three times. I want to see Kobe put up 75. I want to see Chris Mihm...nothing. I just want to see him, he's tall and handsome, even if not the most skilled basketball player. He can chill in street clothes. It's coo. I want my memory to work again and to be able to figure out when the hell Amare switched his jersey number to #1. I want Jack McCallum to go back to his 7 Seconds position and report from the inside again so I can get more D'Antoni goodness. I want lots and lots of happy fun Turiaf time. I want this series to be even half of last year's version, because it was awesome. I want the Suns.
Mavs vs. Warriors- [note: The Baron was just ejected from Game 2 and I feel this is a travesty.] I want to see more of that silly Jason Terry airplane "Jet" move, because it is just so silly, and I enjoy the silliness. I had wanted to see some vintage The Baron, but I already got that in Game 1, and have been deprived in Game 2. I'm sure everyone will have their thoughts on this tomorrow (or in the next few minutes). I want to see some big rampaging dirty Dirk action. I want to see him stroke J's, clean the glass, bang in the paint and awkwardly but effectively tell everyone to stay the fuck out of his house, please. I admit to unashamedly loving that big German. I don't care how played out it is, I want to see 20 more features on what great friends Dirk and Nashie are. I want to see Avery get frustrated, then get mad, then get loud, then get glib, then get smart, then get exactly what he wants. I want to see some vintage crazy SJax. I want to see some sick Monta dunks. I want to see how fast Devin Harris really is. I want the Mavs.
Pistons vs. Magic- Well now here I am too late to get what I want. I really did not want the Pistons to have their way with the Magic. I wanted to see DH play like the absolute MEAST (that is Man+Beast for the non-KSK educated) that he is. Because who DOESN'T like that guy? Seriously, who is more well-liked than Dwight Howard? Nobody, that's who. Maybe Grant Hill. I wanted to see him win something, make all that hard rehab work feel like it's been worth it. I wanted some serious ass-kicking minutes for Darko. However, 'tis not to be apparently. I am still holding out the hope though. If the Pistons gotta win though, I want to see some Sheedtasticness and really get my money's worth. Who's more fun than Sheed? Both teams played hard. More of that. Less of the waiting around to threaten the refs after the game. OK, that will do too, as long as no one gets hurt. I want the Magic. I really do.
Heat vs. Bulls- I want someone to give a nice hard "shut the hell up" foul to Zo and knock him on his ass a few times. I want someone to kick Antoine in the shins every time he does that disgusting little shimmy of his. I already said I wanted the Deng/Duhon/Gordon trifecta to go off and running, but they are doing that already. From the windowwwww...to LUOL. I want to see Ben Wallace dominate with a big ol' afro like he used to do in Detroit, and I want Skiles to let him wear some super sexy headbands. I want to see some old skool Diesel action, and I want to hear some fantastically entertaining interviews from him. Gig on ‘em! I want to see D-Wade tear shit up, but I want the refs to call the games fairly anyway dammit. (I never said what I wanted was not cliche.) I want Chicago. And it totally looks like that's gonna happen! Yay for Becky getting what she wants! (Note: Becky ALWAYS gets what she wants.)
Cavs vs. Wizards- I want Gil back.  I want Mister Fifty to feel his face...actually, hell to da naw I do not. I wanted the Wiz to put up a fight and make it a series...and while they have not quite rolled over, there is a feeling of helplessness that I can't really blame them for. I am thoroughly enjoying the straw-chewing business though. I want to see Eddie Jordan go back to that magnificent Jheri Curl he was sporting at the beginning of the season. I want to see LBJ finally take it to that next level. I want to see Damon Jones have one monster game to make him relevant for just a little longer and give us just a little more "Black Tom Cruise" entertainment. I want the Cavs. Unless Agent Zero pulls something superhuman and comes back. Then, all bets are off.
*sigh*
OK. So. This is where it gets tricky.
I'm a huge Nets fan. Anyone who has ever read El Friends is aware of this. Anyone who is not...well, I'm telling you now. Huge. Nets fan. There it is.
As a disclaimer, I like what the younger Colangelo has done in Toronto. I like Chris Bosh and his style of play. I like Candace Parker's brother. I like the fact that this year's Coach of the Year was just a season or 2 ago brawling with his players in the training room. And I like Pasta Pete (or Bargyomommy or whatever stupid nickname works better than "Andrea").
Having said that...
I'm a homer. A blatant unapologetic Nets fan homegirl.
I want RJ to tell Vince to go fuck himself when Vince takes too many ill-advised shots. Do it in private if you must, but all the "He's getting good shots and they're just not falling" bullshit everyone else is feeding the media is NOT. HELPING. ANYTHING. I'm sure RJ is on the phone with his buddy complaining about all of Vince's happy time shooting fun, but if he would just say it to Vince, maybe it would actually make a difference. I want man-on-a-mission JKidd, where he decides, "Fuck it, I'm taking this over myself." He's not a shooter and he shouldn't have to make his shots, but when no one else steps up, he does. I don't want him to have to though. So I want VC to play SMART. I want him to not get in his own head, and not try SO hard and TOO hard and outplay himself. It worries me greatly that the team seems to play better when he's on the bench in foul trouble. He needs to open his eyes and see that not only does he not NEED to do everything, but also that it hurts the team when he TRIES to do everything. I do NOT want to see the Wince face anymore, dammit. I want the Toronto fans to stop bitching about how much they hate him, AS MUCH as they are, because we all know if Carter signs with the Raps this off-season, they'll make amends in a fast fashion. I want to see some serious heroics from the love of my life, Boki Nachbar. I want to see the 7 lbs. of muscle Nenad has allegedly put on. (Just wear a muscle tee on the bench or something, I'm not asking for much.) I want to see Eddie House do the worm and come back to play asap. I want Jason Collins to score in double digits. I want Marcus and Josh and Antoine Wright and all the kids to have some fucking FUN and learn some shit, because if they get past Toronto, they have some real men to go up against. I want Lawrence to show me he knows how to FINALLY put his rotation to work, the way he should have all season. I want to see some monster scary-man dunks from Mikki and I want to see how much fun he is having after everything he has gone through to get here. I want to see that contract get signed between Mikki and the Nets. I want this team to get healthy, gel, and be here for the next few years, growing stronger each time.
The East is wide open.
I want the Nets to win it all.
And they can do it. God help me, I know they can do it.
They just have to get out of the first round....
Come on, boys. Do it for me. Do it for my mom. Do it for Joe Nets Fan, and the guys at NetsDaily, and every fan who has ever made the trek to the Swamp, and every fan who has not been fortunate enough to be able to do so. But most of all, do it for yourselves. It will be beautiful, and it will feel amazing. I promise.
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Oh. Fuck.
Exhale.
He'll be fine. He's played through worse pain. He's played through worse injuries than this.
We'll be fine.
(*psst!* Marcus? You ready? Could be time to shine, buddy.)
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Yeah, I know the NBA playoffs are in high gear, well some of the series anyway, (RIP Orlando and Washington) and I should be writing about them... However, after watching 24 on Monday night, it is my duty to address state of the show. So as Nets fans scour the internet for Jason Kidd injury reports and Warriors fans everywhere strap on their kevlar vests in anticipation of game 3, allow me to show you how Ricky Schroder (aka Ricky Stratton, the wuss from Silver Spoons) has turned a once proud show into an unintentional comedy free-for-all.
Before I get into it, let me begin by giving you my credentials. I have watched every episode over the past 6 seasons including the first episode of season 1, which got me immediately hooked. I have been a loyal fan and avid defender of the show's crazy twists, unrealistic plots and Jack's immunity from using the bathroom or eating for 24 hour intervals since day 1. Now lets get on with this...
24 offered a fresh look at a dramatic series utilizing the real-time gimmick, strong dialogue and intriguing plot lines that offered shock value yet were easy to follow and never compromised the story. Along with the quirky nuances, another key to 24's success has been the development of characters that viewers can relate to and form opinions about. Throughout the seasons, numerous main and supporting characters have come along meeting this dynamic and have gone down in 24 folklore. These characters have come and gone, however, in each season it was the cast of supporting characters around Jack Bauer that have laid the foundation for the show and helped to effectively play out the outrageous plot lines in a believable fashion. In essence, like any good team, it is the role players surrounding the superstar that have helped propel the show to the heights it has reached.
As far back as I can remember in the show, Jack Bauer has always had a sidekick (a Pippen if you will) that fans adored. This character along with the person running CTU have been crucial to the success of the plot. For the first 4 seasons, Jack's right hand man was Tony Almeida, who is to this date one of the most popular characters in 24 history. No true fan will forget the brilliant scene in season 4 where Jack calls "the only person he could trust" and Tony Almeida appears with guns blazing to save the day. Now, Almeida's character developed slowly over the first two seasons before he was truly embraced as Jack's right hand man. Similarly, Curtis Manning, the man who would eventually replace Tony as Jack's go to guy was slowly developed into a great character we could identify with in season 4 and after Tony's death he emerged as one of the more popular characters on the show.
With this in mind, it is very easy to identify the single moment season 6 went awry, the death of Curtis Manning in episode 4. Manning was killed by Jack and this time, no character had been developed behind him that could step up and take the reigns. The show had a huge hole to fill and they filled it with all 5 feet 6 inches of Ricky Schroder (no relation to Jay Schroeder), a poor man's David Caruso, who is about as believable as a federal agent as Zach Morris is as an NYPD cop.
The introduction of agent Mike Doyle has been an unadulterated disaster, as I for one (don't think I'm alone on this) cannot relate to his character at all and laugh to myself when he goes into one of his tough guy routines. The sight of puny Ricky Schroder interrogating Nadia was disgraceful and it's never good when you think to yourself "I wonder if Nadia could take this sissy." I doubt you would you get that feeling if Curtis or Jack were in on the interrogation.
As the season has progressed, they have attempted to work this lifeless red-headed monstrosity further into the show and it just gets worse and worse. At this point, everytime there is a scene with Schroder in it I cant contain my laughter. Whether the little guy is pacing around with his stupid "serious" look, getting in the face of Milo (another crumby character who reemerged after a 5 year absence to go from being a nerd they picked in conjunction with a raid to one of the head guys at CTU; another terrible angle) who can definately beat his ass or simply trying to perform any kind of agent duty, I just can't take it seriously.
Now to be fair there are plenty of other problems with this season. There are too many storylines going on at once, they keep rehashing old plots (presidential impeachment, nuclear bombs in LA), Wayne Palmer is the president and now Nadia is inexplicably the head of CTU! (Great move by the writers eliminating Bill Buchanan from the equation since he was one of the only good characters remaining!)
Regardless, when all is said and done and I have to pin the collapse of 24 on something, I will not hesitate to point to the replacement of Curtis Manning with Mike Doyle as the key reason for the show's downfall. Ricky Schroder, you have just been gigged on.
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Something about Zo shilling for this wack TNT "drama" "Heartland" just seems...I dunno, wrong. No charity involved. Just a peripheral "Hey, I had a kidney transplant and this show is about like heart transplants and stuff maybe...I don't really know, they just asked me to do it and I'm an attention whore so I said yes!" Get bent, Zo. Point at the sky some more. Dick.
And if TNT thinks throwing that asshole in some commercials is going to gain them any viewers, they are sorely mistaken. They would be MUCH better off using the Fox method of repeating one commerical with one line over and over and over again that will catch on like a crappy pop song and make people want to watch in spite of themselves, ala "His father...is the District...ATTORNEY!" My roommate and I watched all 3 episodes of "Skin", thank you very much and it was good. Well, maybe not, but we watched, and Olivia Wilde is ridiculously hot.
You're welcome.
Speaking of ridiculously hot, the guy from the latest Locke flashback is in "Heartland," so maybe I'll watch anyway. Mmmmm...Patrick J. Adams. Sounds Irish. I like Irish.
And while I'm talking commercials, is it just me or does the new USA Basketball commercial play out like a ransom video note? "I am very excited to play for my country. I am being treated very well. Please do what these men ask and I will not be harmed."
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This weekend, the NFL takes over Radio City music hall for the 2007 NFL Draft and unlike past years, I don't find myself all that excited. Being a Giants fan, I have found the past few seasons emotionally draining given the team's erratic play and propensity for coming up short. The G-men have been plagued by an overwhelming amount of injuries to key players and failed to live up to the expectations placed on them, making it a very frustrating experience to follow this team at times.
The 2006 season is a perfect example of this as the G-men got off to a hot 6-2 start and in the midst of their most dominating performance, a thumping of division rival Dallas in Big D, the injury bug began to bite. Within the next few weeks the team would lose a myriad of starters including both defensive ends, #2 WR, #1 corner, strong-side outside linebacker and left tackle among others in a season that would ultimately result in a wild card round defeat to the Eagles and an unceremonious end to the Tiki Barber era.
With the bitter taste of playoff defeat to a hated rival still fresh on every Giants fans' pallette, it appears many fans have turned the blame to Eli Manning aka the most convenient scapegoat. I for one am sick and tired of hearing that this kid is already a draft bust and is the root of this team's problems. Additionally, any Giants fan who has ever said or even considered that the Giants start Jared Lorenzen should simply stop watching football or find a new team to follow that is a better fit for their non-existant football IQ, say the Houston Texans.
I am pleased the Giants gave Eli an extension this offseason and still believe strongly that he is going to be a special quarterback. In his first 2 years as a starter, Eli has taken the Giants to the playoffs twice and shown discernable talent and inherent skill in doing so. I feel that the Giants fanbase and too oftern talent evaluators around the NFL thought he would step into the saddle and immediately morph into big brother Peyton. Well I have news for you, Peyton Mannings come along once a decade if your lucky and Eli simply needs to find his own way.
Plenty of good QBs past and present have taken 4-5 years to develop a comfort zone and shine in the NFL. Look at Drew Brees who San Diego nearly left for dead after he completed his dismal third season in the NFL. In his 4th season, he broke out throwing for 3100 yards and 27 tds en route to becoming the top 5 Pro Bowl caliber QB you see today. Eli's numbers have been on par if not better than other young starters around the league and the "step back" he took last season can be attributed to more than just his desicion-making. The ridiculous rash of injuries that plagued the Giants would have hurt the play of even the most veteran signal callers. The Giants lost Amani Toomer, Eli's go to guy at WR because lets be honest, Plax does not run intermediate routes he just makes plays down the field and his left tackle Luke Petitgout who was replaced by Bob "head bangin" Whitfield, a complete waste of life offering little protection against the blind-side pass rush.
So Giants fans I implore you to bite your tongue about Young Eli, because wouldn't you rather be in the minority that stuck with him through the bad rather than the fickle majority that will have to flip their scripts once he reaches his potential? The choice is yours Big Blue backers....
Now, onto the draft, the Giants have been surprisingly quiet this offseason and management has done nothing to improve an aging roster with several glaring holes. In fact, this roster appears to be weaker now than when we last saw it at The Stink in January. Gone is Tiki Barber and while I will refrain from bad mouthing him, let me just say Tiki's parting shots at Tom Coughlin, his incessant whining and timeline for revealing his retirement last season may potentially overshadow his on-field accomplishments . Personally, I think we are in good hands with Brandon Jacobs who is a beast in the Larry Johnson mold, big and nimble with break away speed (you'll see) who can run inside and out. Reuben Droughns was a nice addition and offers the Giants an extra back who can really pound the ball.
However, I think the guys who have left totally outweigh the talent that has been added to the roster. While Chad Morton (stinks) and Carlos Emmons (good riddance) deserved their pink slips, cutting Lavar Arrington was a poor choice. The guy is still a solid linebacker when healthy, had a favorable incentive laden contract and was showing flashes of returning to form last year. Another player who could have easily been retained was Brandon Short, a veteran linebacker with a mean streak who played at a high level last year. Short also had a cap-friendly contract however he was not resigned. Finally, the worst move of all in my opinion, was the release of Luke Petitgout. Left tackles dont grow on trees and the Giants let him go with a half-assed back up plan of moving David Diehl to left tackle. The team wants to give Rich Seubert more PT at guard due to the nastiness he can add in the trenches as the Giants pound the ball more this year with their big backs; however, weakening the most important o-line position to do so is ridiculous.
These offseason moves play a huge factor in the team's drafting strategy as not only do we need to address linebacker and cornerback but now we also must find an offensive tackle to develop. To make matters worse, this draft is weak at the tackle position with the top 2 guys Joe Thomas of Wisconsin and Levi Brown of Penn State projected to go in the top 10. That leaves many experts to believe the Giants will be taking Joe Staley (no relation to the DUCE) of Central Michigan with the 20th pick overall. While Staley appears to be a a smart and coachable tackle with good upside, im not sure he would immediately offer a significant improvement over Diehl. If the Giants don't truly believe this guy could be our left tackle for the next 5-7 years, then its my opinion we are better off addressing our most glaring weakness at outside linebacker with Joe Beason, Paul Posluszny or Lawrence Timmons. Im in favor of drafting Timmons and think his tremendous speed and athleticism in the Demeco Ryans mold would be ideal for our defense and a nice complement to the instinctive Antionio Pierce. In the second round I've grown fond of Maryland cornerback Josh Wilson who while a bit undersized at 5 foot 9 inches, is a playmaker with good speed and is a fine kickoff returner, which fills another need.
This is an important draft Giants fans, lets hope Jerry Reese can get it done.
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Help! I'm trapped in the library! Not really, but I have an exam at 9 a.m. and I don't know a damned thing for it as of right now (11:30 a.m. Sunday). Goooooo BECKY!
Partially responsible for my current state of fuckededness? Had to watch the Nets, y'all. Not only are they my one true love (sorry, boys...you will always come second to The Boys), but I have now been dragged into the seedy underbelly of the blog wagering universe. From my first-hand account, I can let you know in all truthfulness that it is SCARY. Seriously.
Just kidding. I ain't never scrrrred. Losing my mind, for sure. But not scared.
Anyway. SML offered me up like a 2-bit strumpet to Skeets over at The Basketball Jones. And I should be mad. But Skeets is a piece of ass, so I'd give it to him for free.
What? Oh, I mean...I believe in the Nets.
Personally, I would have asked for a case of Molson. But that's the problem w/ some people...they just don't aim high enough.
So if you are finding this *NEW!!!* blog because of this little ill-advised wager (yes, there was some love sent by the Great Prophet Henry Abbott, and my heart swells as a result) and are looking for some in depth Nets coverage from all season, I point you to my original labor of love, El Friends Du Nenad. If you can get through all my whiny girl rants about boys not liking girls who like sports and skanks who want to fight me in bars, there is a lot of HARD-HITTING NETS BUKKAKE for yo ass.
And if I can just get through 10 more chapters I can even watch the game tonight!
p.s. We have been called out already by a lone member of Cavalier Nation. Methinks I hear the sound of sick desperation in his laugh though, no?
p.p.s. The Heat fans were pretty boisterous the other day...where'd you guys go? Everything alright?
p.p.p.s. You SEE now what is so frustrating about Vince Carter? He CAN play like he did Friday night ALL THE TIME!!! He just chooses not to! That's what I've been saying ALL SEASON! Go check EL FRIENDS! See for YOURSELF! Um...I think I need to leave the "Shift" key and the exclamation point key alone for a bit. But seriously. Look at the 2nd link here. And then look here. It’s like deja vu…all over again!
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Why do I have a feeling the title of this post is going to grow more and more appropriate every day for the next week or two?
So everybody, including the Chuckster, wants to write the Raps off and say this series is over. But after a game like last night's, you gotta expect a letdown game tomorrow. I would love to see the Jersey Boys close it out tomorrow night in convincing fashion. We'll see how it goes. I realized I don't care about finals anymore, so I might just say "F it" and watch all 4 quarters. Last night the plan was to watch quarters the second and fourth, but when the lead was 30 by the 4th, I could not really justify flunking a test to check out Bernard Robinson's tremendous upside potential.
Anyhow, you can all get your game recaps and basketball analysis in your favorite places to do so. Here's a box score if you need one. But you and I both know you come here for hard-hitting reporting such as the following:
Random sighting over the weekend: Bostjan Nachbar stepping out of a place called something like “Herbal Spa” in NYC’s West Village. According to the sign, the place specializes in “Eastern European techniques” of waxing, massage, etc. Hey, whatever Bokie’s doing, it’s working...
Now, it only takes a post or two to realize that your dear Becky has a silly little schoolgirl crush on our man Boki. So it should surprise no one to know that I did a little internet search, trying to figure out where this spa is. NOT for stalking purposes (I'm seriously not crazy, he's just so CUTE!), but more out of curiosity. Was he there for a massage? Does Eastern European style entail happy endings? (Hey wait...I'm of Eastern European descent, and...nothing. Nothing at all. Move along, folks, nothing to see here.) Was Boki getting his brows done? They DO look awfully perfect. Some type of skin care? Some creative waxing, perhaps? As it turns out, this spa is a mystery. A cursory Google search turned up nothing, and the website that should have the info on display for me also has nothing. Nada. Ah well.
Yum.
I suppose I wasn't actually going to ask Boki to go for his-and-hers massages with me anyhow. My mom insists his wife is lovely. And if there is anything I've learned in my 20s, it's to stay away from dudes with wifeys that are lovely. Um...I mean "dudes with any wifey at all." Yeah, that's it.
Your morally casual attitude toward the relationships of others: BRING IT!
Have I ever linked to Gary Sussman's blog before? Probably, yes, but he was extra poetic in his latest entry, so I'm doing it again. Riiiiight...here. I like it because he has fun inside info, always seems a little crazed, and often mentions his daughter's Cornell experiences. (I had those, too! We'll should be best friends!) Oh, and also...yeah, he's not quite a "blogger" in the way that you and I know bloggers, i.e. sitting in their underwear in their parents' basement. (Just kidding, other bloggers. I'm sure you all have your own basement or reasonable facsimile, and wear pants at least twice a week.) He's the VP of Public Relations for the team! AND the PA Announcer! And then, yes, a phenomenal blogger. I mean, if I didn't have a dad, I would want him to be it. Yes, I accused Suss of taking some liberties with the PA announcing...it took a little getting used to but I'm very much appreciating it in the playoff setting. Promise. In fact, I think if I hear him say a Kidd-bomb dropped in all the way from Secaucus on a TNT broadcast, I will absolutely squeal with glee. It took a little longer to get into geeky fangirl mode this season, but at this point I am soooooooo there.
So does anyone have any answers for his mystery?
Unsolved Mystery...Same car parked at the Bada Bing for the last three months...I wonder if it'll be moved by the time the boys call it a wrap....
I'm assuming he means Satin Dolls. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't intrigued. By the car, not the strippers, you perv.
So. Toronto. Tomorrow. I know I'll be ready.
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